Survivor's guilt

Survivor's guilt

I was freshening up in my assigned room in the facility. It was sometime around 4:30, when I first heard the screams coming from downstairs. Concerned, I placed my comb back in my purse, cautiously exiting the room. All the labs on the third floor, where I was staying, were deserted. An assistant vaulted past me, her face holding an expression of sheer terror. She didn’t respond to my questions or calls. My brows knotted, fear finding its way into my heart. I hurried past a couple closed doors, turning and taking a few steps down the stairs. Dr. Albert, a kind old man, was running up the other set of stairs.

“Doctor!” I called; relieved I could find a person most likely able to answer my questions, “What’s going on?”

His head snapped up towards me; his skin was yellow, his eyes widened and mouth gaped. I’d never seen such an expression on him before, it sent shivers down my spine and utter fear filled me.  He lifted his hand towards me, “Arielle run!” he shouted frantically.

I froze with fear, when a frightening growl erupted from the base of the stairs. Dr. Albert looked over his shoulder with horror, his hand trembling as he took out a syringe to try to defend himself. The next second a large velociraptor jumped towards him, a nauseating crunching noise sounded as it landed on his back. “Aruhgaaa! Run!” he shouted at me one last time between screams of pain. The beast eagerly dug its razor teeth into his flesh. He gurgled a scream, struggling against the monstrosity.

I shrieked, turning sharply and running away from the tortured screams coming from the stairs. I steered myself into a nearby closet, jumping inside and pushing the door closed. The last thing I saw was the beast coming into the hall, its face bloodied and a limp arm in its mouth. I squeaked, and everything turned black.

I woke up, feeling lightheaded. My surroundings spun as I unstably stood. The gridded window let in faint orange light, the clouds in the sky behind it were a soft pink. Never before had something so usual and calm looked this creepy. Stopping the tears in my eyes before they could fall, I wondered why I was still alive.

Hesitantly I exited the small closet. My heart was thumping out of my chest, cold sweat built up on my temples. My hands felt numb, and my knees weak. But I couldn’t afford any lapses now, my life depended on how collected I could remain for the following period.

The halls were empty and dark. The once dull brown floors and stark white walls were smeared with so much blood. It made me want to vomit. I suppressed my emotions as best I could, settling for silent tears trickling down my cheeks. I looked around, but nothing stirred. Undeceived by this apparent quiet, I moved cautiously towards the stairs. I needed to get out.

Suddenly a technician bolted up the stairs, sparing me a frightened look as I froze in fear. She didn’t say a word, instead turning away and running towards the bathroom stalls next to the staircase.

A red flag rose in my head for no apparent reason. But I knew she shouldn’t go in there. “No stop!” I called fearfully, running after her and trying to stop her.

But I was too late, she had rushed into the large bathroom without giving herself a chance for anything.

I stopped my advancement quickly, catching a glimpse of the interior of the bathroom from the doorway. The walls were painted red with blood, and bits of people sat in the large pool of life liquid. I turned sharply into the stairway as another of the monstrosities appeared out of a stall.  I closed my eyes tightly as a terrible scream mixed with the creature’s screech.  By some miracle I didn’t trip as I skipped down the flight of stairs. My chest felt tight as I jumped over Dr. Albert’s mangled body. I tried not to look at his lifeless eyes, mumbling some sort of an apology.  However he was pushed out of my mind as I turned the corner on the second floor, hurrying down more sets of stairs. My thoughts instead overcome by utter fear, gnawing a hole through my chest. Surely, another of those creatures was going to jump out in front of me, and I’d be dead. However, even with such fearsome thoughts clouding my mind, I touched down on the ground floor in one piece.

I slowed to a stop, surveying my surroundings quickly. The back of the ground floor where I was was mostly for storage and maintenance. Thus, it was less glamorous and decorated. Weak light bulbs dangled low over head, barely illuminating the dirty concrete structure and rusty metal fixtures. The large metal doors were closed in the garage, and the metal barrier lowered over all entrances, per protocol in emergency situations. Brilliant! I grumbled to myself, looking around at the scattering of depressed and frightened people.

“Maybe there’s a way out in the front?” A brown haired tourist suggested to her partner, as they turned the corner heading towards the reception area.
I didn’t bother to tell them otherwise. I turned my head, casting a blank gaze at another tourist family, standing by one of the doors. A frightened woman, holding a blond toddler in one arm, and clutching the hand of a little boy in the other. I felt nothing as I stared at them, I had no strength to save them or protect them. At that moment, they were all no more than other individuals, no more important than myself. Merely there to increase or decrease my chances of survival.

The woman stared at me, rocking the girl in her arms, “Please, do you know a way out?” she asked me frantically, apparently assuming by my attire that I belonged to the facility.

I mumbled something about emergency lockdown, and security systems, that she probably neither heard nor understood. I silently walked up to the door, tapping the electronic control box that let out a spark. From the corner of my eye, I could see the woman hopefully securing her children, trying to calm them somehow. In a matter of minutes, I was able to override the system. It wasn’t hard with the codes I’d been taught. The large metal door lifted slowly, and I could see the courtyard beyond it, illuminated by large spotlights. I could hear people starting to come my way, but the metal grid was still blocking the way. I pulled at it, letting it rattle ominously in the otherwise silence, trying to pry it open. I knew that this corner was weaker than the rest from an incident that had happened not long before.

A hand suddenly shoved me out of the way, a large man stepping into my space. I didn’t react, instead watched him swing a metal chair, breaking the grid slightly. He tossed the chair aside, tearing the rest of it open enough for him to fit through. Without hesitation he climbed out, starting off in the far wall’s direction.

As I followed suit, I could hear more and more people gathering behind me, but paid little attention to them. I sprinted out into the open, seeing groups of people running ahead of me. I glanced up at the low concrete bridge that was usually a perch for the guards, but it was empty. Suddenly, the sound of screams shattered the silence from the far east end of the courtyard, getting my full attention. Before I could turn around, I heard a thundering roar, followed by a couple others. With horror, I turned to see large groups of people running my way, followed by a handful of T-Rexes. My heart stopped, my eyes widened, and my body felt like it turned to ice.

Only the frightened screams of people being stepped on and consumed jolted me back into reality. I turned away and ran west, at full speed. Headed towards a large gap in the concrete wall ahead. I couldn’t find it in me to question what or how the huge reinforced had become devastated so badly. It was a possible chance at salvation right now, and that’s all that mattered. People came running from that direction, and I could hear someone screaming “Go back! Go back!”

The tortured screams and roars alerted me that back wasn’t an option. To my horror, another of the beasts appeared from the gap, attacking the people at its feet. Unable to return, I continued running ahead in sheer terror. People ran around me and ahead of me, some faster, some not. The dinosaurs attacked at random, consuming and trampling. Blood and limbs flew all over the place. I watched people ahead being plucked off the ground, screaming in pained horror. All I could think of as a guy running to my left was thrown into the air screaming bloody murder, was I hope the next one isn’t me.

I panted as I headed towards the muddy side of the mountain that neighbored the facility. By then the monstrosities had stopped their advance, and instead preoccupied themselves with the groups left behind. I reached it with a few other individuals, climbing up frantically; people around me did the same. I looked over my shoulder at the people who weren’t as fortunate to make it all the way there. For a split second I wished no one else would, lest their attempt at survival lead the carnivorous reptiles towards us. I shook off the thought, resuming my climb, noting that indeed no one else had come our way. At the top I realized that there was a bit of a gorge in the ground, providing some degree of cover, and explaining why the t-rexes hadn’t noticed our presence. I didn’t know what had created it, but it was salvation to me. Glancing briefly at the frightened faces of the other lucky people huddled there, I threw myself down, closing my eyes and covering my head.  The smell of dirt and grass filled my nose, thankfully chasing away the smell of blood and gunpowder in the air. But I couldn’t drown out the sound of tortured screams, roars, and occasional gunfire. I heard a few people sobbing near me. The screaming wouldn’t stop, but it sounded so distant.

“You there!” a woman’s shaky voice suddenly sounded, “You have a gun! Why don’t you go there and help those people?!”

I opened my eyes, glancing at her frightened face, it was covered in mud and her red curly hair matted. I turned to look at the man she was addressing; he was a large black man, strongly built, his bald head covered with a cap. He clutched a weapon tightly to his chest, but I noted that it had no clip on it. It appeared that he was only holding it so tightly because he was drawing some sense of security from it.

“Why does the strong have to sacrifice themselves for the weak?!” The man replied, his gruff voice tinged with fear.

I looked at his face and didn’t argue, the woman didn’t say another word either. He was right, why should he go and die? For better or worse, we up here survived. I looked over the frightened faces, mostly lowered with shame. Next to the gunman was a man I’d seen before once or twice around the facility. His face was serious but he chose not to comment. Our eyes met momentarily, and it appeared that he remembered me.

“We have to leave.” The man suddenly spoke in a commanding tone, turning away.

The group of people turned to stare at him, in fear, or hope, or at least anticipation. “There’s an electrical train nearby, that leads out of here. I can drive it.” He continued, standing up and glancing at the massacre still going on below.

Murmurs spread through the group, but no one objected to him taking command. There was no point in witnessing any more, there was nothing we could do for them. As horrible as it sounded, the slowly dying down sound of struggling meant that the creatures might come for us next. Looking over at the people, the man realized no one was against it.

“Right then, let’s head out.” He ordered, getting up and starting towards the back of the gorge.

The rest of the group followed suit, silent tears being born and guilty glances cast to the side. Slightly crouched so that we wouldn’t be noticed, we followed the self appointed leader. Reaching where two mountains met, there was a short metal ladder fit into the stone. That led me to believe that the existence of the gorge was no accident. The dark haired man climbed up first, followed closely by the armed man. I hesitated shortly, then started climbing up, behind me was the red haired woman. Reaching the top, the man led us down a concrete path, it was worn out and covered by the elements. It was only a short walk until we reached a sort of suspended station.

As the man discussed some sort of weight issue briefly with a few members of the group, I stared out at the rest of the island with glassy eyes. The roars and odd scream sounded so distant, but I didn’t dare turn to look back. I looked over to see the group splitting up into two, each meant to take a separate electric train. The first train to leave would be driven by a man who appeared from his clothing to be an animal caretaker. His hair and safari attire disheveled, and reddish tanned skin seemed pale. He noticed my vacant stares, and adjusted thin, cracked glasses over his nose timidly. I turned away, and followed the assigned leader, armed man, and a few others into the other coach.

While the man took his position at the front, pushing buttons and pulling leavers, I looked around at the faces of the few people around me. Most held an expression of shock, tears and regret pasted on all. I looked away because I couldn’t bear the sight anymore, the smell of blood and death had filled the place. What made these people any more deserving of life?

My line of thought was cut off as the train rattled and moaned, protesting being awakened, but still started moving forward nonetheless. I stared out the window, at the track next to us. On it the other train was also moving forward, accelerating at a faster rate than ours. I heard words of concern being discussed in the front, but chose to tune it out. We picked up more speed, causing the train to rattle even more. I wondered briefly if it would fall of the track, perhaps some debris had fallen that we didn’t know of. Just as the thought settled in my mind, I heard screams from inside and outside the train.  My head snapped upwards, facing the other track.

The other train had surpassed us by some distance, but ahead of them the track just ended suddenly. For some reason they hadn’t seen it sooner, and at the speed they were going, they didn’t have a chance to stop. Horrified, I watched the train fly off the jagged rails, screams of terror emitting from within. It hovered shortly before its weight pulled it down towards the thick green jungle below. A few people rushed towards the window, pressing their faces against the glass. I remained immobile, my widened eyes fixed towards the captain, who looked at me frustrated for a moment before turning away sharply. My heart beat was rapid, and my breathing uneven. How? They were almost out..

Before I could think for long, I was jolted back into our dire reality with the captain swearing loudly from the front, pulling the emergency breaks. A loud screeching noise sounded, and we were all thrown to the ground too stunned to react. For a split second I could see through the front glass, at a large beast of a dinosaur body slamming the tracks ahead of us shattering it completely. The train shook violently, and the screaming wouldn’t stop. I looked up to see the beady red eye peering at us hungrily, before it gaped its mouth, trying to swallow the train whole. My heart sunk to the pit of my stomach, before all my insides were lurched out of place. There was a loud thud, and the lights flickered in the booth. The train was air born, and so was everything inside. The whole world was turned upside down and I was thrown through the air like a ragdoll, slamming my back on the metal ceiling. More screams erupt around me, before I was thrust forward, and my head hit a metal pole.

There was a sharp pain, a cracking sound, then nothing but blackness.

19-11-2013